I am sitting at a beautiful coffee shop, working on a project I am passionate about. Although quite distracted, there is something sitting at my table I did not ask to join me. My anxiety today is big. I thought we had already worked through this. I am making the effort to honour it and process it, but mostly I want to tell it to pound sand.
Why is the New Barbie feeling right back to where the Old Barbie would be sitting?
I mean, at least now I know what is happening. I recognize where it's coming from and what the single cause is. I know I am working on myself and healing my soul, and I am very proud of myself for that. I am proud of being able to stand on my own two feet. To stand up for myself and to speak my truth, whether I get my way or not.
But here's the thing I wanted to share. Just because you are making progress, does not mean you will not stumble. Your journey is not a straight path and neither is mine. My old self is hurt and feels scared. So it is habit to automatically respond with that feeling of no control, no power.
It is hard work to build a New Barbie and if you are working on the same thing - a New You. It is not easy. It's the hardest thing I have ever done. But even if you feel small, you have power. You have the power to be what you are working to be. Because you control that, and only that. It will just take a long time, most likely. Every step counts.
So be gentle with yourself, with your anxiety. Use it as a reminder that you will get past this too. And the New You will start again tomorrow. And the New Me. Let's do it together, we can have coffee together. At a two person table only, so there's no uninvited guests. I would love to talk to you about the New You. I think that we can remind each other of our powerful-ness and our light.
Much love Xo
Barbie Wharton is a writer, speaker, mompreneur and Bell’s Palsy survivor. Life is better together. And in the sun. Find her on Facebook, Instagram and Linked In. Podcast Guests profile here. Bell's Palsy Talk with Barbie here.