I have learned to surrender to the Universe . Well kinda, I'm trying really hard and on some days it's much easier than others.
It is so hard and scary and I have to realize every day that I am actually so little but really so big. So insignificant but the most significant. So important - but so are the other energetic beings surrounding me at Walmart.
This weekend was really big for me. I was so overwhelmed but so grateful and so so scared. But I know straight up that this is my path. I am so in love with where I am right now. Which is NOTHING I specifically visualized but the feeling is exactly what I knew it would be. And I knew that if I surrendered I could be here. In love. In alignment. Levelling up. This is me. The REAL Barbie. Not the fake, people pleasing, doing all the things for everyone but forgetting myself Barbie.
The thinking that making everyone else happy actually fulfilled me.
Now - no more. I will only surround myself with those who see my light. Who value my talents, my love and all the stuff that comes with it. I will cry and yell sometimes and express my words even if my view is not the one that gets the votes, that's ok. Being heard is all that matters.
The reward is when the challenge of the surrendering reaps the reward. The reaching for the light. I knew this was coming. I have pleaded and asked when it would. It is not "here" but it is happening. This life that I have been knowing is mine is in progress. Every day it is a commitment and the fear is big.
The surrendering is hard. And a struggle. The sitting on the floor with your back up against the bathtub crying, face in your hands kinda struggle. The heart broken open, you really want to puke, real life struggle. But when the reward comes, it makes the surrender so so worth the wait. And the hard days. And the face in your hands. Reach for the sun. It's really nice there. Love Xo.